Rise of the Guardians

Years and years ago, I wrote a story where Santa Claus, the Easter Bunny, the Tooth Fairy, the Abominable Snowman and the Man in the Moon all realised that nobody believed in them anymore, so in an effort to boost their profile they all went on Celebrity Big Brother but lost out to the Little Old Lady Who Lived in a Shoe. I’ve lost the story in one of my many house moves which is a shame, because it was one of my better efforts. However, having seen this film (again – look, it’s Christmas and I don’t care), I realise that (1) it wasn’t as good as I thought it was and (2) it’s pretty pointless looking for it because this film is so much more fun.

Essentially, Santa, the Easter Bunny, the Tooth Fairy, the Sandman and Jack Frost – representing the American contingent I believe, because I didn’t grow up with either of them – have to save the world’s children from the nightmarish efforts of the Bogeyman. Who was voiced by Jude Law channelling Tom Hiddleston’s Loki at his most mischevious. Hugh Jackman’s ninja Easter Bunny has clearly seen too much Crocodile Dundee and Alec Baldwin is voicing a tattooed Cossack Santa. There are some fairly hairy moments – the loss of the Sandman being one of them – but all is not lost because our heroes, along with a handful of little whippersnappers, save the day. And Christmas, Easter, fairies and everything else.

Let’s be honest, it’s absolutely marvellous. A silly, feel-good film for all the family with a fair few in jokes and some brilliant animation. The story isn’t bad either. Just can’t help feeling like I’ve read it somewhere before… was that Davina McCall’s voice I heard in the background there?


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